“I was 25. I think I’d known for a long, long time but never done anything about it. I kind of knew that someday I would but it just kind of sat there. I was in the Navy and I had ended up in a relationship with and falling in love with someone I worked with. Someone found out and told my boss, which brought the whole weight of the navy – ‘no gay people in the armed forces’ – down on top of us.
So I thought I’m going to have to tell my mum about this because I’ve lost my job…ruined everything. This is the day of no mobile phones…there’s a phone box in the middle of the base outside so I get my 10ps and go and stand in the phone box in the middle of that Monday morning and dial my mother’s number. I tell her what’s just happened. And her response was…I don’t remember her exact words…something like “Well, I think my relationship with Helen is coming to an end”. Helen was my mother’s best friend…almost like a family member in our household. I found out in that phone box they’d been together nearly 10 years. I was shocked and surprised. Dad didn’t know. She was still living with Dad, all that time.
I got handed the family secret to keep – she likes to be the centre of attention. Instead of being there with me and with what was happening to me…she just dropped her stuff in it.”